Forty One Times Around the Sun!

Friday, April 20, 2012

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

 

 

Forty one times around the sun.

Yet, still so much more too see.

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

I started out in heaven, as

clear a conscious as can be.

Then projected onto me the

delusional reality that could not be.

I fought hard with fist and tongue

as the ego ruled the school grounds.

All was to be formulated over years…

of the schools structuring,

over years… of this is how we act

this is how we shall be.

Over years…of that was never me.

When you’re older you can do as you want.

When you’re older, you can make your own rules.

That day turned into “You are now an adult so do what your told”,

“Oh, you’re a childish dreamer, grow up! ” they would say.

So, it was off to work in a hell I made.

I am not happy, this is not fair,

spinning my wheels, getting no where!

This unforeseen escape from hell was yet an investment into

the deeper depths of the self made hell.

Oh this work sucks! This world is terrible! I had a tough week!

Lets go drink! You got some dope to smoke? What do you have?

Lets over eat! Lets find some sex! Lets escape this world, it is no good!

For a moment I’d forget…

For a moment I chased hell away…

Or did I ?

Every moment that I thought I were away,

I dug deeper into my self decay.

Until I decided to reclaim me.

To be me one moment at  a time…

I would climb  out of hell.

One decision at a time…

Each day I would learn to quiet the voice of bad habit.

To silence the hard wiring of what should not be.

Each day I would listen to the voice that was me,

the voice that had been quiet for so long.

I would surface as a new man yet, the same man

or should I say the reclaimed man.

Now back on solid ground, I keep building towards the sky.

Building towards the heavens to where I once begun.

Still so much more to see,

after forty one times around the sun…

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

6 Comments

  1. Anne says:

    It took me years to escape the conditioning I received at school and at home. Escape from the pain of the world that no even slightly evolved soul can live in usually takes it’s course until we realize that it’s taking us even further away from our destination. Love your poem.

    1. louiea says:

      It does take years of persistent effort to change who we have become back into who we have always been. I kinda just mentioned school here but in reality this sort of programing is intergraded into all of the human psyche here in America. Most of my bad habits have taken time to overcome but even at that, the body and the mind heal relatively quick in comparison to how long I did many of these habits. It’s amazing to me how life just gets better the more I go at it. There is always more work and ways to improve so it is humbling as well. I am glad you have enjoyed my poem. Thank you Anne for your comments. Keep up the Great Work! : )

  2. dad says:

    Wow..that is somethig else..and it is straight from your heart..get’s me chocked up..
    very well said…

    maybe you could make the password easier

    1. louiea says:

      Thank you Dad. I learned from the best which would be you and Mom! The password is an automated program sorry it was difficult. I find technology to be a pain at times myself. The thing is though I have learned much patients from it. If it don’t work, don’t fight it, it will work eventually…

  3. Cathy Jarolin says:

    Louie You have come along way since the days you drank out of empty peanut butter jars!! Ha! You’ve been at the bottom now your at the top and still climbing..I am soo proud of you. You said it yourself Beautifully..So proud of you and all your accomplishments..God Bless you Always…Aunt Cathy xoxoxo

    1. louiea says:

      Aunt Cathy you have always been so loving and encouraging to me throughout all my life. It’s that sort of love from my family that had helped me in my darkest hours and still helps me to this day. Thank you Aunt Cathy for always being so supportive (even if you did make me drink out of peanut butter jars) LOl : ) Love You Aunt Cathy, God Bless you xoxoxo

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