Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

 

 

Forty one times around the sun.

Yet, still so much more too see.

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

I started out in heaven, as

clear a conscious as can be.

Then projected onto me the

delusional reality that could not be.

I fought hard with fist and tongue

as the ego ruled the school grounds.

All was to be formulated over years…

of the schools structuring,

over years… of this is how we act

this is how we shall be.

Over years…of that was never me.

When you’re older you can do as you want.

When you’re older, you can make your own rules.

That day turned into “You are now an adult so do what your told”,

“Oh, you’re a childish dreamer, grow up! ” they would say.

So, it was off to work in a hell I made.

I am not happy, this is not fair,

spinning my wheels, getting no where!

This unforeseen escape from hell was yet an investment into

the deeper depths of the self made hell.

Oh this work sucks! This world is terrible! I had a tough week!

Lets go drink! You got some dope to smoke? What do you have?

Lets over eat! Lets find some sex! Lets escape this world, it is no good!

For a moment I’d forget…

For a moment I chased hell away…

Or did I ?

Every moment that I thought I were away,

I dug deeper into my self decay.

Until I decided to reclaim me.

To be me one moment at  a time…

I would climb  out of hell.

One decision at a time…

Each day I would learn to quiet the voice of bad habit.

To silence the hard wiring of what should not be.

Each day I would listen to the voice that was me,

the voice that had been quiet for so long.

I would surface as a new man yet, the same man

or should I say the reclaimed man.

Now back on solid ground, I keep building towards the sky.

Building towards the heavens to where I once begun.

Still so much more to see,

after forty one times around the sun…

©2012 Louis J. Auslander

 

The other day having read a post by a facebook friend of mine

“The best runners are the ones that can suffer better.” by Gary Allen,

an experienced marathon athlete /motivational speaker who has done

a sub 3 hour marathon in  5 consecutive decades. It got me thinking about

my views on this. Having read the responses, I  realized that I think

quite differently  then  many about this. I really don’t think there is one right

way or wrong way to look at it. Whatever works for you, works for you. I do think

in sharing our different views we can learn from one another.

 

 

Running to me is not about pain or suffering and not about shutting off parts

of my brain from feeling the pain.

Addiction is  about suffering and pain.

Running is not an addiction to me.

I worked hard to cure myself of many addictions.

I make sure running is not one of them.

I see running as a healthy habit.

Addiction in many ways is the embracing of pain as a form of pleasure.

Addictions give short term pleasure and long term pain.

Healthy habits are the opposite short term pain, long term pleasure.

When I run more  times then not, there is no pain at all just pleasure.

Yet,  to say there is no pain in running would be  a lie.

When pushing your self limits there is what I like to refer to as discomfort, not exactly pain.

I feel running addiction is something to beware of, something to watch out for in yourself.

It is easy  to go through life quitting one addiction then developing a different one.

The transfer of an addiction to running addiction could be a considerably tricky one,

in which you may think you are doing something good for your health.

We must check ourselves as to what we are running from here?

The root cause so to speak.

With many addictions we are doing a substance or habit to avoid some pain, yet

in return it is causing us  long term pain on top of the pain we are  avoiding.

In my mind, if running were to be about pain and suffering it would be almost exactly like  addiction.

 

 

So how does one suffer better  to become a better runner?

Initially my short sightedness did not see the truth in this statement.

To some it may mean suffering more and fighting through that suffering.

To others it maybe conquering suffering through engaging pleasure.

Either way the wisdom and words of the experienced athlete Gary Allen ring true.

I think with running and with much of life we will find that there are many different ways to do things.

It’s our jobs as individuals to find  out what works best for us.

 

So what is running to me?

 

It is my love and my passion.

It is  my gift to  myself as it is my gift to the world.

It is a constant attempt and pursuit to the  perfection of the mind, body and soul.

It is overcoming difficulty not  by adding suffering but by adding pleasure.

At times it reminds me of a hurricane where there is pain and chaos all around but,

if I  persist and push through the discomfort and see it in the best of light I will

arrive in the eye of the hurricane.

This is where I strive to go.

This is where there is peace and tranquility.

This is where I feel overwhelming pleasure.

I do not look for this perfect place outside of me, I look for it and find it inside of me.

Within this state of grace there is no pain, just pleasure.

Running to me is about love and pleasure.

This I find most powerful!

This is what I run with!

 

 

© 2012 Louis J. Auslander

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know why video games are addictive?

I will tell you when you get to the next level…

If we keep teaching our children addictive behaviors then we will keep having addictive children who will most likely become addictive adults who will then raise addictive children….

Hows that for the next level?

Lead by example for yourself, for your children, for your neighborhood, for your state , for your country, for the world , for the universe. That’s the best you can do! That will make a difference!